Raising Girls
By: Stephanie Moody, Birmingham, AL
For 14 years God has blessed me with the opportunity to teach a monthly class for teenage girls. We have covered a variety of topics pertinent to Christian teens trying to live holy lives in a world where doing so is counter cultural.
In recent years, I have drawn the distinction between the truths of God and the lies of Satan. The truths of God are reliable and trustworthy. God always keeps promises. His words lead us to life, peace, and joy. In contrast, the lies of Satan are dangerous, deceptive, and destructive. One of the most dangerous lies Satan tells our girls is that they must be sexually alluring in order to be successful and beautiful. As the mother of three girls (ages 14, 10, and 7), I see this as a critical battle we must actively fight. Will our girls define their identity by the truths of God’s word, or will Satan’s lie tighten its grip on them like a python squeezing the life out of its prey?
Satan has launched an all out assault on our girls’ sexual purity. Every form of media promotes the lie that being sexy makes you powerful. Since time began, women have misused their sexuality for personal gain. Just look at Delilah, Potiphar’s wife, Lot’s daughters, and Tamar. Until recent decades, however, fornication was hidden or kept somewhat secret because our culture looked down on it. In 2022, our culture celebrates sexual sin. Girls are led to believe that the decision to have sex whenever and with whomever they choose makes them independent and in control. Sexual promiscuity is everywhere - song lyrics, movies, TV shows, apps, and advertising. Abortion is an industry built on the lie that women can have sex with no consequences. These lies wreak havoc and destruction. Our poor girls are suffering from depression, addiction, crippling guilt, and rock bottom self esteem because they bought the lie “your sexuality makes you powerful.”
Another lie Satan tells our girls is the more of your body you show, the more beautiful you are. This is a nearly worldwide cultural expectation. Have you ever noticed the discrepancy in what men and women wear in the same sport? In the Tokyo 2020 Games, the Norwegian women’s beach handball team was fined for wearing shorts rather than the regulation bikini bottoms; meanwhile, their male counterparts wore sleeveless shirts and knee-length shorts. The networks know that the more skin women show, the higher their ratings are. Often, this discrepancy comes up when I am shopping with my girls. For years, we have bought boys swim trunks. They ask, “Mom, why do boys get to wear more clothes than girls?” Our girls are expected to show it all. Consider, as well, the increased accessibility sexual predators have on the internet. We need to protect our girls, not put them on display.
With the attacks on our girls’ purity and modesty, comes an even more sinister attack on their feelings of self-worth. Social media apps like Instagram and Snapchat have distorted our girls’ view of their value. They can become obsessed with getting likes, shares, and positive comments. They use filters and image altering apps to generate the very best version of themselves, knowing that what they post is not what they see when they look in the mirror. Social media feeds the pursuit of physical perfection which can lead down a dangerous path to eating disorders and body dysmorphia. With phones at their fingertips, the peer pressure is unrelenting. We need to break them away, set limitations, and tell our girls the truth about who they are and why they are so valuable.
As with any spiritual battle, God equips us with all we need to fight. For every lie Satan tells us, we find an unshakeable truth in God’s word. Does sexual freedom make you powerful? The sin of sexual immorality leads to death, as does all sin (Romans 6:23). Through Christ, we have forgiveness and new life (Romans 6:3-4, 11). We experience great joy in living a life free from the shackles of sin. As Paul told the Galatians, “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1). The truth? Sexual sin enslaves us and leads to death.
Does being sexy make you beautiful? God tells us what is beautiful to Him, “but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:4). Consider the amount of time and money spent on expensive cosmetics, gym memberships, tanning beds, nail salons, hair salons, and designer clothes. Do any of these things lead to “imperishable beauty?” The writer of Proverbs reminds us, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).
What does the Bible say about dressing sexy? The world tells our girls they can wear whatever they want and they share no responsibility in what a man thinks. God instructs Christians to abstain from the sin of sensuality (Galatians 5:19). Jesus teaches us about the dangers of lust in Matthew 5:27-29. We need to teach our girls that what they wear matters. If they want to please the Lord, they will not dress in a sensual way. They show love to their brothers in Christ by dressing carefully. If they want respect, they will dress in a respectable manner. Take a look at the key words in this passage: “Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works” (1 Timothy 2:9-10) Dressing sexy puts our young women’s spiritual well-being, as well as the spiritual well-being of others, at risk.
Does being sexually appealing foster feelings of self-worth? Will getting likes, shares, and followers on social media contribute to our girls' perception of their value? Young women need to know that if they are baptized believers, they are beloved children of God, joint-heirs with Christ, and treasured possessions of the King (1 John 3:1; Romans 8:17; 1 Peter 2:9). His love is so deep that He sacrificed His Son in order to have a relationship with them (Colossians 1:21-22). Any validation our girls receive from this world is a cheap imitation. It will disappoint them every time. We must lovingly teach the girls in our lives who they are. Their value comes from their Creator, and He alone can put them on a path that leads to true joy, purpose, and peace.
Satan has drawn us and our girls into battle. Armed with God’s truths, we are ready to fight. The victory belongs to Him!