Mrs. Zebedee and The Questions We Ask

As a teacher, I hear parents asking their children all sorts of questions…

Do you have your lunch?  Did you do your homework?  What were you thinking?

As a mother, I’ve asked all of those questions myself.  

The questions of the day to day are just that…daily reminders, endearments, or reprimands.

My guess is that in every culture, in every land, mothers ask their children similar questions.  It is simply what we do.

However, as Christian mothers, are we asking our children about their spiritual habits as well?  Is it as important that our children get their Bible lessons on Sunday as it is that they do their algebra homework?  Do we ask them if they prayed in the morning before we send them off to school, or rather, do we ask them about their schedules for the day?   

I am no longer raising a child, and so for those of us without children, I would suggest that we think about what questions we ask ourselves about our work, about our finances, about our future.  We plan all sorts of things, spend our time thinking about a myriad of earthly issues…do we ask ourselves about our spiritual growth?

I’m not suggesting that we don’t have to plan our lives, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking about homework or daily appointments.  However, if we aren’t careful, we can have our priorities wrong - set on earthly concerns - and we forget the more important matters of our children’s or our own spiritual development.  

In a culture obsessed with education and earthly promotion, are the questions that we ask focused on things that are temporary rather than on things eternal?

Think about the mother of James and John, the wife of Zebedee.  She’s a mother who has raised at least two boys who have become incredible men.  They are moved to follow Jesus and will be among the closest earthly friends to the Messiah.  She’s obviously done something right!

However, the question she asks of Jesus in Matthew 20 shows an interest in earthly things.  The account in Mark 10 says that James and John ask, and no doubt, they are part of the question, but it would seem that their mother is the one who presses the issue to Jesus.  Matthew says that she drops to her knees in front of Christ and asks that her sons would sit next to Him when he receives His throne. 

In her defense, Mrs. Zebedee believes that Jesus is the Christ.  She knows that He will reign and that He has the authority to set the rules for who will be with Him.   And she wants her sons to be next to Him -  one on His right and the other on His left.  

Her concern is…well, maybe not earthly, per se…but it’s human and not heavenly.  In chapter 19, Jesus has told the rich, young ruler that in order to enter the kingdom of heaven, he needed to sell everything and follow Him.  

When the young man leaves, the disciples are shocked.  They ask if one who has kept the commandments can’t be saved, if the rich and powerful can’t be saved, then who can?!  Peter declares that they have left all…what will they have?

Jesus comforts them by reassuring them that only with God the impossible is possible, and He tells them that they will sit on thrones in the regeneration.

Surely, this is still ringing in the ears of James and John’s mother.  She misses the bit about the first being last and the last being first.  She misses the point of the parable of the vineyard which answers Peter’s question about what they will have.  It’s not clear whether she hears Jesus predict His own death, but whether she hears it or not, she wants to go back to what He said about thrones!

The spiritual truths of the difficulties of being rich and powerful have completely escaped her, and she seeks power and prominence for her sons, and it seems that James and John are also eager to know what they will receive.  

It’s pride, plain and simple, that causes us to think about having position and influence.  Nothing causes more trouble among brothers and sisters than a desire for promotion.  It’s interesting that we almost never see Jesus’s disciples quarreling except when something like this is at its root.  If we can’t see this as a poison used by Satan to undermine us, then we aren’t paying much attention!

Jesus’s answer in verse 22 redirects the focus not to thoughts of glory and authority but to the suffering that awaits: “You do not know what you ask. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?” Now, there’s a question for you!

Confident, James and John answer that they absolutely can handle any future suffering only bringing into sharper focus that they don’t know what they are asking.

James, of course, would be the first apostle killed for his faith as reported in Acts 12.  John, however, would be the last, which I believe is its own form of suffering - watching all of His dear ones go home ahead of him.  

When we seek position and earthly advancement, for ourselves or for our children, we don’t know what it is we are asking.  

Where your children go to school doesn't matter.  Awards you’ve won at your job don’t matter.  The neighborhood you live in, the car you drive, the amount of money you drop in the contribution plate on Sunday…doesn’t matter.

If that is where we get our sense of reward, then we have missed the point.  Jesus says of the Pharisees who simply want to impress others that they already have their reward…it’s earthly because their desires are earthly.  There is no spiritual content in pride.

So…what questions are we asking?  What message are we sending about what is important to us? 

Others will know where our priorities lie simply by watching us live our lives.  And no one will know us better than our children.  Our own children or children with whom we spend a great deal of time will know us.  You can’t fool them for long.  They will know if our faith is a box that we tick or if it is something that guides our lives - whether studying God’s word or for an AP test is more important.  They will know because we will show them by spending our time and energy on one above the other.

And even if we could fool others, we won’t fool God.  He sees us just as Christ saw His apostles for who they were - just men…with earthly brains struggling to understand a kingdom that couldn’t be defined in earthly terms.  Sometimes asking the wrong questions, sometimes obstructed by pride, but servants, nonetheless, dedicated to the One who they knew held the words of life.